Encounters of the 23rd Kind
by strayphoenix
Summary: “Then why can’t we have sex?” Laura protested. Alex sat up in bed. “One word, three syllables, rhymes with ‘submarine’” “If Logan has a problem with it, I’m sure he won’t maul you TOO badly—” AleX23


"Let's have sex"

Alex Summers blinked and rubbed his sleepy eyes at the sound of his girlfriend's voice. The words hadn't fully registered in his head and for a moment he thought he was still dreaming. He turned over to see a face looking at him intently, chin resting on his mattress.

"Laura? What the hell?" he mumbled as he reached to her side and fumbled to turn on his bedside lamp.

"I said lets have sex" X23 repeated. When he finally clicked on the light, he could see that her look was intense and that she wasn't joking in the slightest.

"Laura, it's…" he checked his alarm clock, "4:45 in the morning. What are you talking about?" he repeated again, rubbing his eyes.

"How many times must I say it?" Laura said, annoyed. "Sex, Alex. You know, that whole thing with a guy and girl when they—"

"I know what sex is!" he said quickly, trying not to image what her next words would have been.

"I want to have it," she explained with a curious look. "With you"

"Touched as I am," he murmured, still half asleep, "we can't have sex"

X23 stood up and placed her hands on her hips stubbornly. "Why not?"

"Well for starters…" he began but stopped as his mouth hung slack and he was shocked awake.

Laura was standing next to his bed wearing nothing more than a matching pair of black underwear. He couldn't completely tell but it looked like black _lace_ underwear. And where she got it wasn't one of the questions running through his mind.

"For starters….?" Laura reminded him with a glare. She didn't seem to notice the effect her outfit had on him.

It took him a moment to regain his train of thought but he managed with a shake of his head. "Um…for starters, it's way too early in the morning"

"I've been getting up at this time since I was eight" she informed him as she shifted her weight from one leg to the other and Alex had difficulty tearing his eyes away from the sway of her hips. "I can bring you coffee if you want"

"Laura that's not the main problem" he tried to explain.

"Then why can't we have sex?" Laura protested as she flopped down on his bed. Alex sat up against his headboard and tapped three fingers on his arm.

"One word, three syllables, rhymes with 'submarine'"

Even though Laura missed the Charades reference, she continued being persistent. "If Logan has a problem with it, I'm sure he won't maul you _too_ badly—"

"In case you forgot," Alex cut in, "if _I_ loose a limb, it doesn't grow back"

"C'mon, Alex" she whispered as she leaned foreword suddenly and seductively. Despite the fact that he was already up against his headboard, Alex made a futile attempt to scramble even further back. She placed her hands on his hips and pressed into him for a kiss. Alex had to admit that it was getting really _really__** really**_ hard to resist such a persuasive approach _and_ such a skimpy outfit. The memory of Wolverine dicing up a robot in the Danger Room the other day was the only thing that kept him from giving in.

"Laura," he addressed her as he gently pushed her back. Her eyes opened and were now fixed on him with an entirely different emotion: annoyance.

"Now what?" she snapped.

"We _can't_ have sex. Really. We're too young to have sex"

"We're both eighteen! How old do you have to be?" Laura asked firmly, calling his bluff on the age rule.

"I don't know" he stated, pinching his eyebrows. "You usually have to be married or—"

"Your brother and Jean have sex and they're not married" Laura pouted. "They're having lots of sex right this minute"

If the sight of his usually leather-clad-from-head-to-toe girlfriend in black lace lingerie hadn't woken him up the way it did, this news certainly would have done it.

"Now?" he asked surprised. "Like, _right_ now?"

"No, like _later_ now" she responded sarcastically.

"Are you sure?"

"I would hope Scott screams the name of the girl he's sexing when he ejaculates" she informed him crossing his arms, unmindful of her language.

"OK! Laura, that was TMI times one thousand!" Alex informed her shoving the mental image out of his mind with considerable effort as his ears turned beet red. "I-I just don't want to, alright?"

Laura considered his words for a moment with amusement glancing down at his lower half barely hidden under the thin bed sheets and then back up at him.

"Alex, you're an awful liar" Laura said, sitting back on her heels. She was almost out of range for his bedside lamp but he could have sworn he saw the corners of her lips slightly tilt up in a smirk.

Alex pulled one knee to his chest and rested his arm on top of it. He hoped her enhanced eyesight wasn't good enough to see his ears turn another shade of crimson at her accusation. "Yeah, I know" he sighed.

"So, since I can tell if you're lying or not, be honest," Laura smirked as if her logic were the greatest in the world. "Why can't we have sex?"

It took Alex a moment and a good look at his girlfriend's face to respond. "Call me old school, but I kind of want to do it for love" Alex admitted sheepishly as he shrugged and he bowed his head. "I know it's kind of lame"

When he didn't get an immediate response from Laura, he looked up again and noticed that the kaleidoscope of emotions that was X23 had changed from cocky to…was that heartbroken?

"So, you don't love me," she whispered, her shoulders and defenses falling. Quickly and thoughtlessly, he reached out to touch her shoulder.

"No! It's not that! It's just…I mean…" Alex said, struggling for what to say that would be at least relatively honest. "Laura, I just…haven't had enough time to figure it out yet"

Laura's eyes hardened again for a moment as they searched his face. Alex knew he was looking to see if he was telling the truth. Finally, Laura got to her feet and crossed her arms, turning her back to him.

"I guess it makes sense…" she mumbled, upset at having been proven wrong. It took all of Alex's self control not to laugh at how much she resembled him when he lost a fight to his brother.

She turned to him at last with a hopeful expression. "Can I at least spend the night?"

"If you put on some clothes and promise not to rape me, I guess you could spend the night" Alex said, laughing at his own joke.

He started to settle back down under his sheets when he noticed that Laura wasn't heading out the door but instead, was heading towards his wardrobe.

"Um, Laura?" he asked but she was already grabbing one of his favorite Hawaiian shirts and a pair of sweatpants he used for jogging from his closet and throwing them on over her underwear. Both were big on her but she didn't even seem to notice as she slipped under the sheets and snuggled up next to her boyfriend.

He sighed to himself and smiled down at Laura as he shoved the proposition of his pull-out bed to the back of his mind. She was impossible.

"G'night, Three" he said, using his nickname for her and flicking the lights off. For a moment when he got no response, he thought she'd already fallen asleep. But then she spoke up with an emotion he couldn't place. It was either deadpan humor or total seriousness.

"By the way," Laura yawned, "tell anyone anything that happened tonight, and I'll cut off your testicles"

* * *

The next morning, Alex and X23 were in sitting in the kitchen with the rest of the X-Men with the exception of Scott and Jean who were surprisingly late. That was, surprisingly late for all those who weren't Alex or Laura.

"Hey, Slim Jr." Wolverine asked, popping his head into the kitchen and addressing Alex, "Have you seen your brother or Jeannie this morning?"

"Nope" Alex replied as coolly as he could as he began spreading cream cheese on Laura's bagel while she served them both juice. Logan grumbled something and then disappeared behind the door again.

Just then, however, the couple in question came in through the other kitchen door looking extremely sleep deprived but still smiling at each other.

"Morning everyone" they said almost at the same time. They received a myriad of greetings from the students and faculty and headed for the refrigerator. While Scott and Jean were still a good ten feet away from her, Laura gagged and pinched her nose with one hand, carrying both mugs in one hand back to the table.

Alex shot her a questioning look as she sat back down next to him but his own silent question was answered when Scott and Jean passed by him on their way to the refrigerator.

"Holy Godzilla, Scottie! How much cologne are you wearing?" he said, coughing at the smell.

"Spilled the bottle on me by accident this morning" he responded casually as he grabbed a set of bagels and orange juices from the refrigerator. "Can you tell the Professor we're heading out?"

Alex nodded his understanding, still covering his nose as the two headed out the kitchen door they hadn't come in as Logan reappeared.

"We're heading out, Logan. K?" Jean asked him. Logan looked like he was about to say something but suddenly decided that he didn't want to be so near to Scott's cologne and he wordlessly held the door open for them with a nod.

"That would've been a lot likelier to believe if a similar industrial accident hadn't befallen Jean last week" Rogue whispered evilly to her brother. Kurt's cheeks turned purple as he realized what she was implying.

"Gee, those guys look, like, super tired" Kitty commented innocently as she watched the couple exit through the front door of the mansion courtesy of Logan who still head the door open and was watching them go with a suspicious glare.

"Duh" Laura stated rolling her eyes, "That's because they were up all night having—"

Alex dropped the bagel and slapped his hand over X23's mouth with such speed, he would have impressed Pietro. As it was, he only pissed off Laura and got Logan's attention. His eyebrows rose with a similar speed as he allowed the door to swing close.

"Having _what _X?" Logan pressed with a glare at the couple. The remaining students were giving them looks of equal curiosity.

Laura yanked Alex's hand off her mouth with a deadly glare and then turned to her 'big brother'.

"Having booze" she finished. "They let me use that bathroom that they shared and it _reeked_ of alcohol".

Alex was impressed at how coolly his girlfriend could lie. Of course, it was probably prerequisite for an undercover assassin. And when Logan turned his steely glare to him obviously looking for an explanation for his behavior, Alex only wished he could look half as relaxed.

"Oh, um, I forgot Jean turned 21 last month" he lied sheepishly. "My bad"

Whether Logan believed them or not was up to debate but he stalked out of the room with nothing more than an additional glare at Alex. While the students buzzed with their own suspicions, Alex turned to Laura.

"Why did you tell him that? Now he's going to go looking for alcohol in Jean and Scott's bathroom!" he hissed.

"And he's going to find it" Laura replied, calmly. "That was the cover story I had come up with if _we_ were going to be out of it this morning from sex"

"Oh" was all Alex managed to say as he lost his hostility. Laura giggled at this and kissed his cheek which caused Alex's ears to heat up again.

"I'm giving you lying lessons starting after lunch"


End file.
